With You It's Always Better
by mooresomore
Summary: A Cargan story that popped into my head and wouldn't let go. It's a little more angsty at first than I thought it'd be, but it ended good; I cried while writing it. Rated T for a couple curse words


**Disclaimer: This is complete and total FICTION. That means it never happened and is completely untrue. In fact, this is so far from the truth that it isn't even in the same country as the truth. I don't own anybody: Big Time Rush, the characters, and all referenced scenes belong to Nickelodeon, and I make no money off of this. I am not in any way implying said characters' sexual identities.**

Today was Logan and Carlos' first wedding anniversary; Logan had to work. Carlos knew Logan had tried to get it off, but couldn't; it still made him a little upset that Logan's work came before his husband (of course, Carlos knew what he was getting into when Logan took the job; it didn't mean he had to like it).

Carlos signed his anniversary card (adding a note for Logan in it), and decided he was going to make Logan's mac and cheese recipe for dinner. He didn't want to start it too early, so he called Logan to see what time he'd be home.

"About 7 pm. I gotta go, got to save lives. I'll call you right before I leave, ok?"

"Yeah. I love you."

"Love you too." Logan hung up quickly; Carlos could hear "_Dr. Mitchell to the E.R._" He couldn't help but feel bitter; it seemed like Logan's patients got more time with him than Carlos did. Even when Logan was home, he wasn't all the way there. It was tough, but Carlos loved Logan too much to give up- he just held everything in and waited for Logan to leave before breaking down.

Carlos used to go talk to their friends (and former BTR members, when they were the band), Kendall and James, but since they'd adopted Ramona, Carlos couldn't; he and Logan had talked about adopting before Logan got the job; there was no way Carlos was going to basically be a single parent. It was just another thing Logan's job had gotten in the way of.

The phone startled Carlos out of his thoughts. "Hello? Logan! Is everything ok?"

"Yeah, I got another doctor to come in early. I'll be home in about an hour."

"Ok. See you then." Carlos hung up, happier than he'd been in awhile. He started making dinner.

It had been an hour since Logan called, and he still wasn't home. Carlos decided to not call Logan; he'd be home whenever. The hour turned into an hour-and-a-half, and then two. Carlos put the dinner into the fridge and left Logan a note and headed to bed. _On second thought, maybe I should go out and celebrate my anniversary by myself._ Carlos thought. He walked the couple of blocks to the bar. He decided not to be gone too long; he didn't want Logan to freak out too much after all.

Logan opened the door. "Carlos? I'm home." There was silence; Logan saw the note on the table. _Dinner's in the fridge- Carlos_. No "I love you" or anything like he normally did. Logan tried calling for Carlos again and still got no answer. _Maybe he's already gone to bed?_ A search of the rooms showed no sign of Carlos; a call to his cellphone went unanswered as well. Logan looked outside; Carlos' car was still here, so he couldn't be far, right? He called Kendall and James. "You guys seen Carlos?"

"He's not there?" James asked.

"No, I just got home, and he's nowhere to be found. His car's still here though."

"He probably just went for a walk or something. He'll be back." Kendall said.

"Thanks guys." After hanging up, Logan got into the fridge to see what was for dinner. _Wait, he fixed my mac and cheese?_ Logan started to feel bad; Carlos had made a lot of effort, and Logan wasn't here to enjoy it with Carlos. Logan felt even worse when he looked at the calendar; the day was circled with a big heart and said, "Happy 1st Anniversary!"

_Oh shit. I forgot our anniversary._ Logan thought. He'd been so busy; it hadn't even crossed his mind.

Carlos walked through the door. "Oh, you're home. I'm going to bed. See you in the morning- if you're here that is."

"Where'd you go?" Logan asked. "I was worried when I got home and you weren't here."

"_I _was out celebrating an anniversary that only I seemed to remember." Carlos said.

"Have you been drinking?" Logan asked.

"Maybe. Like I said, I'll see you in the morning." Carlos said, heading to the guest room.

"You're not going to the room?"

"Why? I don't even know the guy I'm 'married' to anymore. He's a total stranger, who sort of looks like a guy I used to know." With that, Carlos went into the guest room.

Logan sat at the table, letting Carlos' words sink in. _When's the last time Carlos and I did something together that my focus was totally on him?_ If Logan was being completely honest, it was their honeymoon, which had been, shit, almost a year ago. Sure, they'd done stuff together, but Logan's mind wasn't 100% there; he was always thinking about work. _God, I'm horrible._ Logan thought. _And Carlos has put up with so much. I don't deserve someone like him; he had his own dreams and ambitions, and I'm just holding him back. That decides it then._ He put his head down on the table. This wasn't what he had in mind when he became a doctor.

When Carlos woke up in the morning, he immediately knew something was different (well, besides the obvious fact that he was sleeping in the guest room). Was that sausage? It sure smelled like it (Logan only made sausage -or bacon- on special occasions, otherwise it was a "death trap" as he called it). Carlos climbed out of bed and went downstairs; yep, it was sausage. "Morning."

"Hey." Logan handed Carlos a plate. "I made breakfast."

"Thanks." They sat down, and Carlos said, "I have something I want to tell you."

"Me too." Logan said.

"You first." Carlos said.

"Ok." Logan took a deep breath. "Last night got me thinking- you're right. We haven't done anything 'together' where my focus was on you and only you since our honeymoon. And it's not fair to you to give up everything you want to do because of me." Logan looked down and spoke quietly. "Which is why we're getting a divorce."

Carlos' fork clattered to the plate. "What?"

"I don't deserve someone like you. And it's not fair for you to not be happy- I mean, I forgot about our anniversary for Christ sakes." Logan said. "What did you want to tell me?"

"I was going to say that I shouldn't have said what I did last night, but you know what? Fuck you. You want to just quit and choose working over trying to fix this? Then that's what we'll do."

"Carlos, come on, that's not what I meant…"

"Let's go. I don't want you to be 'tied down' anymore."

"Carlos…"

"Let's go Logan." Logan knew there was no way he could explain his way out of this one. They went to the courthouse.

The same judge who had married them happened to be working. "Oh, coming to renew our vows?" she asked.

"No." Carlos said. The judge was taken aback; this wasn't the same guy she'd seen a year ago. "We're here to get a divorce."

"But you two were so in love." She looked between them. "What happened?"

"People change." Carlos said, staring at Logan, who looked so lost and scared.

"Boys, come to my office." Once they were settled, the judge said, "Tell me what's going on." Both boys explained their side of the story; when they were done, the judge looked at them.

"Marriage takes work. It's not going to be all kittens and rainbows all the time. If you were going to get divorced and remarried every time this happened, it wouldn't be special, would it?" The boys shook their heads no, and the judge continued. "Here's what we'll do. I'll grant you a 6–month trial separation. The condition is you must go to couples' counseling once a week, every week, for those six months. If at the end of the time period, the counselor and you both feel like there's nothing to be saved, then I'll grant the divorce. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes ma'am."

"And, boys, take it seriously. My husband and I have been married 30 years, and we still have disagreements. But we've learned how to deal with them and make changes if we need to. I'll see you in six months."

They walked out, and Carlos said, "I'll move all my stuff into the guest room when we get home."

"I can help if you want."

"No, don't you have to work?" Carlos asked. "I thought you worked 11 am to 11 pm today."

"You memorized my schedule?" Logan asked. Carlos nodded. "I called and took the day off; told them I was dealing with some personal issues."

"Oh. What do you say we go set up our first appointment? We're already out and about."

"Sounds good. I'm free all Thursday s; let's aim for that if we can." Logan said.

"Ok." They got a Thursday appointment, which was two days away, and headed home; Carlos moved all his stuff into the guest room.

It was awkward trying to act like there was nothing wrong when Kendall, James, and Ramona came over (they weren't ready to tell anyone anything yet); they got through the night and headed to their separate rooms. "Night Carlos."

"Goodnight Logan."

Logan was gone when Carlos got up the next morning; he'd left a note. _At work. Hope you have a good day! _Carlos smiled; he'd always loved it when Logan would do things like that, but his smile faded when he thought of how it'd become a "had to" rather than "want to". Carlos wanted to _hear_ Logan tell him "have a good day", not just read it.

Carlos started doing his household chores; the next thing he knew, Logan was calling and asking what he wanted for dinner.

"Whatever." Carlos said. Hanging up the phone, Carlos realized that Logan was trying to overcompensate for making Carlos mad; if Carlos was happy, he'd give in right away. _Well, two can play that game._ Carlos thought; he wasn't giving in.

Logan showed up with corndogs (of course; they were Carlos' favorite food). After eating, they did dishes; Logan went to his room to read, while Carlos stayed up and watched some TV. Tomorrow was going to be a big day; it was their first counseling session, and Carlos hoped it'd get them back on track.

***Six Months Later***

Today was the day they were supposed to go see the judge. Carlos and Logan smiled and held hands on the way in. The judge came out. "Hey guys. So, I've got the papers ready to sign."

"Actually," Logan said, looking over at Carlos, and then back to the judge, "We're not getting divorced."

"Yeah." Carlos added. "We realized that there's disagreements and we weren't dealing with them in the right way. After the counseling sessions, we started figuring out things." He looked at Logan. "We even started regoing out and doing dates like we used to before things got bad."

"I'm glad to hear that. So I can throw these papers away?" she asked.

"Yes." Carlos and Logan said, smiling.

"Good." She shredded the papers and smiled. "I'm so happy you guys got it worked out."

"Me too." Logan looked at Carlos.

They headed home, and Carlos went to the guest room and got the anniversary card he'd had the whole time. "Happy Anniversary Logan."

"Thank you." Logan opened the card and read it, tearing up. "I didn't get you a card. I love so much."

"You didn't have to. I love you too." They made dinner together, and Logan said, "So, I may not of got you a card, but I did get you a gift."

"What?" Carlos asked. "I didn't get you one."

"You don't have to." Logan said. "But, my gift to you is I got a new job."

"What? You gave up being a doctor? But you love that! You can't give it up!"

"Carlos, relax." Logan laughed at Carlos' freak-out. "I'm now the next Professor at UCLA Medical Center. It's a steady job- 8 am to 5 pm Monday-Friday. I'll be home more often."

"Is it what you want? Don't do it because you think that's what I want."

"Yes, it's what I wanted." Logan smiled.

"Ok. I'm happy for you babe." Carlos said. "Love you."

"Love you too." Logan said. He knew it'd take some work, but things were going to work out just fine.


End file.
